What did I understand in the last few years . . .
I had been addicted to, something that was destroying me. I even didn’t realize how I was becoming useless. In search of shortcuts and asking for help and investment, I was wasting my time by trying to become successful in one night.
After some time, I was thinking that why is this all happening?? After so many refusals and negative responses, I realized:
Life is much better when you stop depending on others and start catching your dreams.
The only shortcut to success is to work hard for a long time.
One of the biggest mistakes we do which we don’t realize & have been addicted to is “depending on others”.
The first step towards success is to understand that whatever your goal is, you have to achieve it. No one else is free for you — nobody cares for your dreams. Everyone is running the marathon for themselves, not for you!!
Some traits I observed associated with a dependent personality.
1. They have difficulty making everyday decisions without advice and reassurance.
If you have been addicted to for asking help and advice you gonna face difficulties on an everyday basis. If you want to change your life do everything by your own. Come out of your comfort zone and take decisions by your own.
2. They need others to assume responsibility for many major areas of life.
The weak point of dependent people is that they don’t want to own responsibility and make lame excuses like, no one helps me. Why would someone takes your responsibility??!!
People with dependent personalities give up control of major areas of life to another person out of fear. Fear of failure never lets you succeed.
3.They have difficulty disagreeing with others out of fear.
It’s just because of the lack of confidence. Once you have been dependent on others It will be very difficult to make your own opinion. Because you have code in your mind that he/she knows better will decide for me. A dependent person does not feel worthy to express or have an opinion that differs from someone else they feel they need.
4. They feel anxious when alone, or when thinking about being alone.
Dependent people often expect the worst. They do not feel competent to live their own lives without others. Being alone means being unprotected and vulnerable. The thought of being alone to cope with whatever “worst” life throws at them is simply overwhelming. Dependent people wholeheartedly believe in Murphy’s Law: Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
— — — — Gregory L. Jantz Ph.D.
5.They feel responsible for fulfilling the expectations of others.
In dependency, the dependent person adopts the expectations of the other person as their own. So when the dependent person fails, they fail to meet not only the expectations of the other person but also their own. Each failure strengthens the dependent person’s damaging judgment of self.
6.They have a high need for validation and approval from others.
Dependent people can crave validation and approval as desperately as an alcoholic craves a drink or a gambler craves a jackpot. When validation and approval happen, the planets align and all is right with the person’s universe, at least until insecurity kicks in again. So any “win,” though desperately craved, is suspect as a mistake, at worst, or momentary, at best.
7.They are unable to create or defend personal boundaries.
The only real boundary a dependent person has is to be within the boundary of a desired relationship. Apart from that, all other personal boundaries are fluid and negotiable in order to maintain the desired relationship. A willingness to negotiate personal boundaries for a relationship creates vulnerability. Some personality types look to exploit this type of vulnerability. They are all-too-willing to find out how much a dependent person is willing to give. And that pool of needs is never filled; the dependent person cannot seem to give enough to fill it.
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Accepting the truth, though difficult, is the pathway to freedom. The dependent person has spent time and energy trying to hold on to relationships that constantly threaten to slip away. To heal, they must see the value in expending time and energy in establishing relationships based on truth.
Gregory L. Jantz Ph.D.
Hope you Loved this article and hope not to be addicted to this drug!!!!