Best Self Summary

Tag Line: Best Self will help you become the hero you’ve always wanted to be by teaching you how to be honest with yourself about what you desire, identify your toxic anti-self, and discover the traits of the greatest possible version of you that you can imagine.

A few months ago my brother helped me put some plants into my Leopard Gecko’s tank. I was sad to eventually see each of them wither and die.
My wife’s Night Sky Petunia’s, on the other hand, which I can see out my window right now, are thriving.
Wanting to thrive instead of merely survive isn’t something that only plants want to do. You can characterize your life in one of these two ways as well. And chances are you aren’t thriving.

It’s not your fault though. This is one of the most important skills you can learn, but the school system and your parents didn’t teach it.
That’s why you’ll be excited to learn about life coach Mike Bayer and his book Best Self: Be You, Only Better. He’ll give you highly actionable steps to create a life that you love and are proud of. And most of all, teach you how to thrive!
Let’s see how much we can learn about improving ourselves in just 3 lessons:
1. Don’t worry if you never learned how to reach your full potential, simply start now by defining the version of yourself that would make you happiest.
2. Use the power of honesty to vanquish the villain of fear that is holding you back.
3. Help yourself first so you can take great care of other people.
Here’s to becoming your best self! Let’s dive right in!

Lesson 1: Start defining the best version of yourself to take the first step toward reaching your full potential.

Do you ever think about how astronomically unique you are? Nobody else has your exact experiences, thoughts, and traits. Some may come close, but your life is yours and no-one will ever be like you again.
That all sounds great until you consider that nobody ever taught you how to take advantage of this one shot you’ve got.
First, you had your parents, which did a lot for you which you should be grateful for. But they took the blank slate you were at birth and filled it with their own limiting beliefs about life.
There’s no need to resent them for this, however, as they were doing the best they knew how at the time and their parents likely did the same.
It made matters worse when you went to school and there was no curriculum on how to find and connect with your full potential. But don’t worry, you’re about to learn how to fix that.
There are two versions of yourself, one positive and the other negative. It will pay off in the long run if you learn to become aware which of these two is in control. To do that, identify their characteristics and attributes.
Write all of your positive traits on a piece of paper. I like asking other people what I’m good at to get a start. Then, you can put a face and superpowers to it so you know when you’re acting as your best self!

Lesson 2: Annihilate the fear that holds you back with the power of honesty.

You’re going to have to beat obstacles on your journey to reaching your full potential, and the greatest of all of them is fear. But your weapon against this is being honest with yourself.
Remember that fear is always lying to you. When it says you’re not good enough or you can’t, none of those things are true. But they’re real feelings that make you waste time living a life that’s mediocre.
To beat your worries, begin by identifying what they are. Journal about the answer to the question “What fears do I have that are holding me back from changing my life?”
If you take this seriously, dig deep, and really examine your answers carefully, you’ll find a theme you can begin to tackle. That’s the next step.
To beat what you’re afraid of, test it. Train your positive thinking muscle so it’s strong enough to believe in the truth rather than the lies of doubt. This is hard because you usually focus more on the fear itself than solutions, but you can change this habit.
To turn your mind to solving the problems in your way, complete the following statements on your piece of paper:
1. “My fear is”
2. “It’s keeping me from”
3. “My plan to stop it becoming reality is”

Lesson 3: You will be the best at taking care of others when you’re good at taking care of yourself first.

If you want to reach your full potential, you need to serve others. But you can’t get there if you’re not serving your own needs well enough first. Without proper self-care, you can’t have the emotional or physical energy required.
You need to learn how to properly deal with the inevitable business and stresses of daily life. There are a few simple and powerful tools the author gives to do this.
Mindful breathing is just one method you can use to destress. It’s as simple as pausing when things are getting hectic and taking a few deep breaths. This will bring the calm and perspective you need to move forward with your day as your best self.
Exercise is another tool the author mentions that I love to use myself. It helps if you find a physical activity you enjoy doing. I like to run, hike, and rollerblade. What do you enjoy?
You also want to make sure that you’re getting enough sleep. You can’t expect high cognitive and emotional performance if you’re tired all the time, and that only makes things worse for the people around you. Keeping a regular bedtime will help with this.
Additionally, finding some passions will help you balance your life. It’s easy to get sucked into work, but find hobbies you enjoy outside of the office. To find the time in your busy schedule, consider what stops you from doing these activities, and eliminate those time-wasters. Watching TV is a common one that you can give up.

Final Words

Wow, this book really got me pumped up! Best Self is just the kind of book that I’ve been needing to motivate me to push myself a little harder. One reason I love it so much and think you will too is that its advice will help you get good at balancing self-discipline with self-compassion.